Ok, ladies, is it realistic to think my older kid can put on his coat by himself while I help the younger one? Then we all get out the door in the morning a little more quickly, right?

Ha! There’s no “quickly” when it comes to herding small humans anywhere.

But I do love a good mom-hack.

This post includes affiliate links for your convenience. Check out my Disclaimer to learn more.

So lately I’ve been thinking about the transition from dependence to independence. Not that I want my boys to grow up faster. I’m just trying to catch a break.

We each begin life as an infant, totally dependent on others. We are directed, nurtured, and sustained by others….Then gradually, over the ensuing months and years, we become more and more independent…until eventually we can essentially take care of ourselves, becoming inner-directed and self-reliant.

—Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

If you’re in the same boat, here are some ways I’ve freed myself from mom duty. So I can sleep in, I mean, encourage growth and independence:

PEOPLE FOOD

Otherwise known as feeding your baby solids.

Starting at 4-6 months of age, let your kid feed himself. Even if he doesn’t have teeth yet. And especially if you’ve got two or more kiddos. Seriously, this’ll free you up to feed yourself, do laundry or write a sonnet. I just put a bunch of finger foods on my boys’ plates, and maybe arm them with a fork or spoon, and let them go. to. town.

This is known as baby-led weaning. (You can grab a copy of the book, Baby-Led Weaning: The essential guide to introducing solid foods by Gill Rapley from the library – it was super helpful!) It’s phenomenal and will totally freak out the grandparents. Basically, whenever you decide to introduce solids, skip the purees and get on with the people food. Kid, meet food. Kid, eat food.

My boys love food, and I often wonder if it’s because I didn’t spoon-feed them nondescript green stuff from one of those pouch things. (Who really knows what’s inside one of those things anyway? Is anyone else disturbed by the fact that manufacturers are, like, trust me, there’s absolutely apple-plum-berries in this non-see-through plastic bag?) My boys got to pick up the apple and plum and berries, squish them between chubby fingers, smell them, and problem-solve how to get them into their mouths (and not their hair).

And we are really popular at parties: Hey, look at that baby eating a whole broccoli! But, if you like purees, more power to you. Baby-led weaning is cheaper (feed them what you eat!), though definitely messier (look at all that spaghetti in their nose!)

THE CAR SEAT

I had a C-section with both boys. Which means I couldn’t lift anything for several weeks. Which means the toddler was the property of #RockStarDad when the little one was born. But occasionally dad had to leave the house (you know that whole work, bring-home-the-bacon thing, since mothers on maternity leave here in the States don’t really get paid). And I’d have to shuffle two small beings around in the car. Which means I had to get the two small beings in the car. As in a 9-pound newborn and a 27-pound toddler.

So I told the toddler to man-up, climb in the car by himself and buckle himself in. Well, okay, I actually buckled him in – I’m a safety girl! (Am I dating myself with the Pretty Woman reference?) Anyway, the toddler was thrilled to practice his mad climbing skills, and this momma was thrilled to not over do it right after labor.

SOCKS

Scroll on back up this post and check out that picture. Aren’t little sock feet just the cutest?!

You may have noticed that three varieties of socks are featured there. The matchy-matchy socks belong to the littlest angel, who can’t yet dress himself. The others belong to the 3-year-old. He can dress himself, just often gets distracted by books, dinosaurs, cell phones, school buses, goldfish crumbs on the floor, paper towel tubes, etc.

To foster independence, I organized his dresser so that the bottom 3 drawers, all of which he can reach and open, contain everything he needs for his day:
1) Shirts
2) Pajamas – underwear – socks
3) Pants

All he has to do is open the drawer and pick out what he wants to wear. We help him with his shirt, because the concept of 4 holes in one piece of clothing blows his mind. But he puts on everything else. Including socks. Which were a bit of a challenge at first.

Here’s what I’ve learned about making your toddler an independent, sock-dressing machine:

1. The socks should be short

Think ankle length. Anything longer and the kid gets bored by the time he gets to the heel.

2. The socks should be thin and stretchy

We have some athletic socks that meet the criteria in tip #1, but they are so thick, it’s hard for little fingers to keep the opening open long enough to jamb in 5 toes.

3. The heel should be clearly marked

Toddlers don’t like it when the sock-heel ends up on top of the foot: I hear lots of exclamations of, “It’s not doing the right thing!” So show them the clearly-marked, sock-heel and their own heel, and how to line up everything correctly.

To make your life easier (see tips 1-3), I like these socks on Amazon. Just get the right size…

4. DO NOT PAIR UP SOCKS

Unless your kid likes to undo things, they will get frustrated when attempting to put the “2-sock ball” on one foot. And then when you go to explain, “Honey, first you have to take the sock ball apart,” you’ll suddenly notice your audience has imploded or maybe just decided to torture the dog at that exact moment.

5. Relax

Due to tip #4, your child may go to school wearing mis-matched socks. Can you handle this? Here’s an opportunity for you to practice the art of letting go. Unless you buy socks of all one color or style (then you’re a mommy ninja). And the toddler’s freedom of choice is actually where the beauty lies. Your little miss or mister will be thrilled they picked out their own socks (independence!) and put on their socks (independence!) Plus, it’s a great conversation starter: So, tell me why you picked these socks? Well, naturally, batman enjoys playing baseball.

And occasionally, socks also end up on hands: Mommy, my hands won’t get cold. I put socks on them.

Share your tips for growing independent little people below or on Facebook at MothersRest.